Every year I roll my eyes over some ridiculous trend that rears it's ugly head to greet us. A couple of summers ago it was turbans - this was wisely avoided entirely by the general public. None but the bravest attempted winters' Harem or Peg Trousers, because 90% of women worry frequently about the size of their arse, they aren't going to slip it into a garment that makes it look four times bigger.
Following on from the Harem, I've also been reading a bit about Bloomers... these I think are destined to go the way of the Reinvention of the Turban and disappear without a trace. Excruciatingly short (and therefore cellulite revealing) - Check, puffy at the hips - Check, waistband tight over stomach so everything you ate for lunch is visible - Check. Mark my words you crazy designers, Not Going To Happen. (Yes, even you Marc Jacob's, trying to fool us with your delightful 50's prints.)
The main punishment of 2010 appears to be the return of Double Denim, otherwise known as The Texas Tuxedo. A look that brings to mind Mullets and New Kids on the Block. Surely, they must be joking. So far I've only seen Alexa Chung look good in this, which is no fucking assistance because she can look good in anything. I've seen a photoshoot where actual MODELS looked terrible. Models! Beautiful otherworldly creatures with legs like gazelles. Models! Models with photographers, make up artists, lighting directors, and editors to retouch the photos at the end. No one stands a chance! Run while you still can!!!
Ok, let's not panic. I have a game plan.
1. Buy a denim dress. This is the all over denim look without actually pulling off the tricky double.
2. Opt for two completely different shades of denim or differing textures. Think pale grey denim jeans with a black tailored denim blazer jacket.
3. Invite Alexa Chung to a Seance, capture her soul in a Marmite Jar and thieve her body.
Just a reminder that Joan Collins looks fabulous in a turban, and let's not forget Madonna's denim get up in the Ray Of Light video.Double fabulous! Mwah.X
ReplyDeleteYes, certainly Joan and Audrey Hepburn DO look fabulous in turbans, but they are legends and have perfect faces. If I walked into the pub in a turban to meet you for a beer, I would look ridiculous. And as you know, I don't fear a ridiculous get up!
ReplyDeleteQuite right about Madge! How could I forget that yes, there is someone other than Alexa Chung who can wear Double Denim and still look amazing!
Oh Phoenix you are funny.
ReplyDeleteYou should update this more